Learning the Hard Way

And I am in the mood of writing and sharing. What came in my mind last night was to write where everything else starts. I considered myself as one of the living testimony that regrets happens at the end. I know we have some regrets at one point in our lives and how to work that out is the next question. How we moved on and how we conquer those fears and pains determines of what and who we are in the present.

I was once in deep, deep, deep debts. Literally. Credit cards bills and personal loans included. We are not from an average income family thus having those sky high debts gave me sleepless nights, stress looking face, and irrate attitudes to everyone else. Ha! How can I think clearly when I am being chase everyday by phone calls from different banks and law offices? How can I chose my reactions when a phone ring startles me a lot?  And those letters from law offices that my mother handed me every time I went home. Those were the long days before.

I graduated from a fine school, dreaming of having a good work and uplift my family's situation. Both my parent's family came from the not so privilege family in short poor and I admit that. We have loans from everyone to keep up our daily expenses. 5/6 included. Those lenders have taken advantage with our situation and it was business as usual for them. We have no one to turn to. Added to that, my father got sick.

After passing the board exam, I immediately looked for a job and luckily landed on a job 3 hours from home. It's a six day a week job and worked fine for me doing regular overtime to increase my take home pay.

At first, I sent my salary to my family and have shouldered the house expenses. Sent my brother to college. And I don't regret those. But what comes in between those, was my spending habits. I wanted to belong. I wanted to change the lifestyle I was thought of to something above average. I wanted more to keep up with the colleagues and I spent more from what was left of my salary. To the point of having loans here and there spending on unnecessary things , dining out - a lot, and malling. I started to get cash advance from my credit card to sustain the make believe lifestyle I created. Paying only the minimum amount due in my credit card bill and sometimes let it slip. I never have savings.

So much of the bad decision making skills. In 4 years time, the horror of that spending slap me right in the face. I can't no longer pay my credit card even the minimum due amount. Those personal loans from the bank were unkept. I do not have any one else who can help me pay those bills. I was miserable.

When I can no longer hold myself and just thought of running away, I pray for strength to keep up. God is soooo good. He let me land a job. With higher salary. Though farther away from my family. Hey, not in abroad. Only in the southern part of the island.

I cleared my mind. I listed my dues. Banks and law offices still gave me headaches. I requested for amnesty programs from the banks. Yes, i have communicated with them finally assuring them that I am going to pay my dues. I can't pay in full and though there were still those interests, the amnesty program worked for me. You see, I still have a family to support. It took me another 2  years to complete each payments. I am glad I have gotten out of the pit. And an experience I do not want to go back.

Looking back, I know there are only a few who truly knows oneself and avoid this pitfalls after college life. And the difficult part is I am not one of them. Had I known it, I could have been a better spender. But then, yes, we sometimes need to learn the hard way. The best part of it, is after everything else, I have emerged a little wiser financially. I still have my credit cards I used sometimes for those reward points and freebies, but this time, I pay in full.