A Merry Christmas!

Today is the 25th of December 2015, 4:08 PM Philippine Standard Time.

I am in the office.

Yes, I am working on a legal holiday! Double pay it is. A sacrifice I have to make because I signed the contract for this more than 7 years ago. It couldn't be as lonely as it should be until I heard the voice of my little girl early this midnight, sniffing and about to cry. So I have to hang up the phone before we could both be crying our heart out.

I just asked my husband to take some photos and send it to me via messenger. With tears still flowing down continuously on both cheeks, I ran my fingers over her pictures. I terribly miss her. It's Christmas and I am not beside here.  And I thought, 2 more days and I am home. I can give her a hug. Kiss her.

My strong desire to become a stay at home wife enveloped me and prayed hard for it as I drift to sleep at 2:30 AM.

I woke up with a knock on the front door. My little sister came to visit me earlier today, coming from her night shift schedule at the hospital where she worked. I was filled with joy seeing her. Finally, an immediate family. We talked a lot on everything. Catch up. Chat over breakfast before we headed to the mall for some last minute Christmas gifts.

For quiet a few hours, I forgot about my longing to come straight to the province to see my little girl. It is such a relief to bond with a sister.

We all have so many wishes and hopes in our hearts. Different to each individual. Because we are unique. And to each his own.

Some times, I feel like I am about to give up my present job. And I have so many reasons to. The work place is so far from the province with almost 7 hours one way trip. I have to ride 5 times - tricycle/jeep, then bus, then MRT, then city bus, and then jeep again before I could go to my place of work. EDSA traffic is horrible. It is exhausting that there are a lot of times, when all I wanted is to have at least a day for myself alone, catching up my much needed sleep.

But everything over weighs my desire to provide a good future for my little girl. I know. If I stop at this early stage, then, some day, I will go back to those times when I can no longer undone the decisions I made and had already lost my opportunity to change our current life style to a financially free life.  We as a family is just starting out.

And that I should be more grateful that I still have a job that provides food on our table.

I pray for His guidance and the strength to keep us going. I know He will bless us. Everyone of us.

Merry Christmas! :)

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Date wrong? Nope, you have read it right. This post has been sitting in my drafts for over a year already. But already thought of forgetting it altogether.

Nonetheless, I'd like to post it. This year's Christmas is way different from my crying moments last year. I am with her. My precious little girl. She's with us as well as my in-laws.

We have a little 2 nights staycation in the city to celebrate the Christmas. And all because I have work yesterday - 25th.   I guess this is the commitment I have made when I signed the contract 8 years ago. Few days before Christmas, I was asked by a colleague - Am I ready to retire in 2 years time?

My answer, truthfully, I still do not know. But, we are still building our future. And we are no nearer halfway to the construction. So maybe in a year or 2, I can't definitely say it yet.

One thing is for sure, I am happy and truly thankful for giving me the opportunity to spend my Christmas with her. Such a blessings being with family on Christmas eve.

Happy Holidays! :)