A Merry Christmas!

Today is the 25th of December 2015, 4:08 PM Philippine Standard Time.

I am in the office.

Yes, I am working on a legal holiday! Double pay it is. A sacrifice I have to make because I signed the contract for this more than 7 years ago. It couldn't be as lonely as it should be until I heard the voice of my little girl early this midnight, sniffing and about to cry. So I have to hang up the phone before we could both be crying our heart out.

I just asked my husband to take some photos and send it to me via messenger. With tears still flowing down continuously on both cheeks, I ran my fingers over her pictures. I terribly miss her. It's Christmas and I am not beside here.  And I thought, 2 more days and I am home. I can give her a hug. Kiss her.

My strong desire to become a stay at home wife enveloped me and prayed hard for it as I drift to sleep at 2:30 AM.

I woke up with a knock on the front door. My little sister came to visit me earlier today, coming from her night shift schedule at the hospital where she worked. I was filled with joy seeing her. Finally, an immediate family. We talked a lot on everything. Catch up. Chat over breakfast before we headed to the mall for some last minute Christmas gifts.

For quiet a few hours, I forgot about my longing to come straight to the province to see my little girl. It is such a relief to bond with a sister.

We all have so many wishes and hopes in our hearts. Different to each individual. Because we are unique. And to each his own.

Some times, I feel like I am about to give up my present job. And I have so many reasons to. The work place is so far from the province with almost 7 hours one way trip. I have to ride 5 times - tricycle/jeep, then bus, then MRT, then city bus, and then jeep again before I could go to my place of work. EDSA traffic is horrible. It is exhausting that there are a lot of times, when all I wanted is to have at least a day for myself alone, catching up my much needed sleep.

But everything over weighs my desire to provide a good future for my little girl. I know. If I stop at this early stage, then, some day, I will go back to those times when I can no longer undone the decisions I made and had already lost my opportunity to change our current life style to a financially free life.  We as a family is just starting out.

And that I should be more grateful that I still have a job that provides food on our table.

I pray for His guidance and the strength to keep us going. I know He will bless us. Everyone of us.

Merry Christmas! :)

*****************************
Date wrong? Nope, you have read it right. This post has been sitting in my drafts for over a year already. But already thought of forgetting it altogether.

Nonetheless, I'd like to post it. This year's Christmas is way different from my crying moments last year. I am with her. My precious little girl. She's with us as well as my in-laws.

We have a little 2 nights staycation in the city to celebrate the Christmas. And all because I have work yesterday - 25th.   I guess this is the commitment I have made when I signed the contract 8 years ago. Few days before Christmas, I was asked by a colleague - Am I ready to retire in 2 years time?

My answer, truthfully, I still do not know. But, we are still building our future. And we are no nearer halfway to the construction. So maybe in a year or 2, I can't definitely say it yet.

One thing is for sure, I am happy and truly thankful for giving me the opportunity to spend my Christmas with her. Such a blessings being with family on Christmas eve.

Happy Holidays! :)

Timelines

I am on face book for the longest time although my timeline is no longer updated with details of those recent happenings in my life. Unlike before, I often share my thoughts on everything and even post pictures of myself. GGSS lang. Hahaha.

Eventually, my face book using is mainly to keep up and catch up with long lost friends. Admittedly, face book covers really a wide network that almost every person in the whole world has an account and can get us connected to anywhere in the planet. Recently, my timeline (wall before) only contains those times which my friends/office mates/family and I tried something new or just eat out that they tagged me on their check-ins or pictures. Or when I share an article that interests me. Or when I share the page I am managing for online selling.

I have nothing against face book or any social media site. There was just a point in my life when I thought of deactivating the account in favor of a more lively, personal communications. I had given myself a time frame to shut it down. The only thing that prevented me to end it sooner and which gives me so much struggles are the contacts I have. To be honest, mahal pa rin kasi ang long distance call kapag ang friend/relative mo eh nasa abroad. Yun lang ang pinag iisipan kung mabuti nun. Until my online selling page was born.

Yes, it open a new door for me and my thoughts about discontinuing my face book account. Because, truth be told, people nowadays are on social media day in and day out. It is hard to imagine that even grade schools are on this platform. But it is a fact.

Now that I am still on face book, there is this feature that brings you back to an old memory way back the day you started posting something on face book. And a few days ago, (before November ends), face book asked me to share a memory which I posted over 5 years ago. The time when a friend of mine and I visited Singapore for the first time.

I relieve the moment I was at Singapore on a 4-day visit. The warmth feeling it enveloped me reminiscing those beautiful, carefree days I was there. I can still vividly remember the touch of the heat of the sun wondering over the zoo, the botanical garden, sentosa, and in the Universal Studio. The drizzling rains while we hopped over the next train, rode a double Decker bus, and cable rides. How we retired to bed at the end of day. A smile on our lips knowing that there were no alarm clocks the following morning. It was indeed a vacation. And I promised myself for another outside the country vacation like this such as in Thailand. And hoped to work in a country like Singapore.

What happened to my hope of working outside the Philippine territory? What happened to the another wishful vacation?

Those 2 did not happened. And as funny as it may sounds, after all that blast from the past, it left me wondering what has changed in 5 years of my life. Surely, I am older by 5 years. I am still in the same company. I just step up a notch in my job description. I got married. I have a 2 year old beautiful girl.  I made friends. I lost friends. My savings is a little over than what were in 2010. I became financially aware individual. And the lists go on.

He has the most perfect plan for me by giving me a wonderful and loving husband and a dear sweet girl. I could not ask for more for having a supportive in laws and family. Truly, if I go back my own time lines, there were things that I hoped for before that did not materialize but I had gotten better. And to this I am forever grateful.

For the next 5 more years? Drafting it with His guidance.

Just Sharing. :)