How I Have I been Doing Lately?

There are a lot a of things going on right now for me.

I am still working at the same company. In fact I have been doing overtimes since start of May. One reason is that I am adding more take home pays. Maybe a higher amount in the payslip is something to make me change my mind. It is exhausting. This is a test.

Another big push is that this is my way to try to change my mindset towards the job role I have right now. An experiment I embarked at the start of May, challenging myself if I can actually extend my tenure in the company. And if the "phase" I have been feeling is valid and a confirmation that the decision I've come up is the next best course of action. Back and hips pain are real though.

Leaving this job is a tough decision, if I continue doing that. I have so many things to consider. Not just for myself. I finally have a view that I shouldn't be selfish and that I have a daughter who look up to me.

These past months, I keep going back and keeps reviewing again and again our current savings and investment. It is a "big leap" if I give up now. The money we have set aside is not enough to take that dive. That's the sad reality. Our preparation for an early retirement is already late.

Yes, we are debt free. No mortgage to pay. No consumer debts. Just the daily expenses and being frugal in our lifestyle. But not yet enough.

Other than that, there is no sustainable business yet. I keep looking for opportunities and at this time, nothing comes up yet. My job hunting shows a lot of "thank you" letter.

So in the meantime, I try to keep afloat amidst everything by keeping myself busy, so there will be time to overly think.

I work on Kolotibablo and 2Captha captchas while writing this.

I answered queries in my Shopee and Facebook Page.

I send applications to companies.

I read in between other blogs and articles.

I check crochet projects I'd worked with while waiting in line on doctor's visit.

Am I spreading myself too thin for everything? That is maybe the case. It is better though than sulking myself to this situation.

There are a lot of things I wanted to do. Time and money sometimes play a big part. I have to remember, we are a single income household.

One time, I was thinking if I am just complicating things. That this adult life is difficult. And that there are a lot of dependencies. I know everyone has their own battles daily. This is my own battle. Keep trying.