Filled With Gratitude

I am thankful for every seconds of my life. The joy I have for every moment captured of my presence to be just around those I love.

My precious little girl is growing so fast that I wish I am always by her side. Playing. Tickling her. Laughing with her. Watching her favorite cartoon "Home" movie. Walking. Running. Watering the plants. Hiding. Reading her favorite book about princesses. Watching her favorite 2D "Cinderella" movie. Cuddling with her before we sleep. Eating ice cream together. And her favorite porridge (Lugaw). I just love everything about her.

But mama has to work. For her. For our little family. And I guess, at her age, she understand a bit about it. Because when I asked her why mama needs to work, she would reply "Milk" or "Gatas" then followed by "Pa-pers" (diaper - mas sanay siya sa pampers na tawag...hahaha), and then "Pubig" (Tubig - mineral water). Like I often mentioned in my previous posts, every time I have to go back to the city, my heart aches a million times. And I just wish that I do not need to go. I wish that things are different. I have so many things circling my head from the time I step up to the car, close the door, and when the car start moving. I thought, I'll get used to it. Yet, nay.

 
Most of the times, I feel like I am about to give up my present job. And I have so many reasons to. The work place is far for almost 7 hours one way trip. I have to ride 5 times - tricycle/car, then bus, then MRT, then city bus, and then jeep again. EDSA traffic is horrible. It is exhausting that there are a lot of times, when all I wanted is to lie down and catch up on my much needed sleep/rest.

Today is the 25th of December 2015, 4:08 PM Philippine Standard Time.

I am on coffee break.

Yes, I am working on a legal holiday! Double pay it is. A sacrifice I have to make because I signed the contract more than 7 years ago. It couldn't be as lonely as it should be until I heard the sweet voice of my little girl after midnight, sniffing and about to cry. So I have to hang up before we could both be crying our heart out.

I just asked my husband to take some photos and send it to me via messenger. With tears flowing down continuously on both cheeks, I ran my fingers over her pictures. I terribly miss her. It's Christmas and I am not beside her.  And I thought, 2 more days and I am home. I can give her a hug. Kiss her.

My strong desire to become a stay at home wife enveloped me and prayed hard for it as I drift to sleep at 2:30 AM.

I woke up with a knock on the front door. My little sister came to visit me, coming from her night shift schedule at the hospital where she worked. I was filled with joy seeing her. Finally, an immediate family. We catch up on everything. Chat over breakfast before we headed to the closest mall for some last minute Christmas gifts.

For quiet a few hours, I forgot about my longing to go home straight and see my little girl. It is such a relief to bond with a sister.


We all have so many wishes and hopes in our hearts. Different to each individual. Unique we are. And to each his own.

I know in my heart, He has better plans for us. A better plan than I could master. I have faith for that. All I need to do is make every moment and action in accordance to His will. And for this I am thankful. I am grateful that I have something to look forward to.

Thank you Lord for everything!

Just sharing. Merry Christmas :)