Wow, I am now 38!

38th.

Routines.

Regular day.

Same old me.

Except that yesterday I turned 38 on earth calendar days. Whew, 38 years of existence on planet Earth.

I didn't have time to reflect because it's just an ordinary day of same old routine. My whole day is still jam packed of things to do. I still work the same 8 hours shift. Yes, I go to work even if it is my birthday. Work on side hustles while my daughter is in school. Tried to clean and declutter the little apartment. Tried to doodle some ideas on my planner. And I think at the end of the day, I haven't accomplished anything more productive than the other day.

But no! I am not complaining. It is just that I really wanted some a little 'me' time. Like getting the whole day just for myself. I don't think I can have that this sooner, but I am hoping it might happen one of these days.

In the meantime, while I am looking forward for that day, last night was another story to tell. I am getting exhausted to this new job assignment. I am overwhelmed and seems like I am too slow to learn now. Which got me thinking last night on what to do next. Should I stay and have this feeling of anxiety everyday, over and over again? Or should I quit? If I quit, what should I do next? You all know that we are currently living on a single income. And losing this source of household income will turn everything in spiral downhill. These are the times when I hate why I do not have other options.

Our current passive income from money rentals and other investment are not yet enough to cover all the bills and expenses. Plus, we are still on the building phase - upping our savings and more investment. Yes, we do live a frugal lifestyle and continue to live debt-free, but without my current salary from being an employee, this is still a big blow to our finances.

Now I am torn. To be honest, I could not figure out what should I do next. I pray that I may be able to think of a remedy to this situation or at least be able to feel a little at ease with things that's going on around me.

Oh this birthday blues.

Anyway, I do have more things to be thankful for the 38 years I am here. I have a supportive and loving family from both side. I have a sweet daughter. I have a loving husband. And FEW friends who has remain with me through thick and think and has never judged my choices in life.

As I aged, my choices and point of view in life has unconsciously changed as well. I hope that it is bringing out the better version of me. Not perfect, but better than myself yesterday. And to this new year of my life, I hope to be fearless with what I really wanted. That is to have MORE options! :)

ctto: google photos

Life's Update 09/01/2018

I have been working for almost 10 years now in my present company. The length of years didn't bother me at all nor I have gone tired of it. Unlike in my previous company where towards the end of my 4th year, I was literally dragging myself to go to work in the morning. I remember dreading to wake up each morning because I could almost taste my disdain to work.

The shifting schedule, I think help me get through the years to sustain my drive to work.

To be honest though, this few weeks, have me a little feeling of getting tired. I think, my mind is feeding me to get a rest and spend. Hahaha.

But, this is not yet the time. I have just finished paying the appliances we acquired because we've just move in to a new apartment. Aha! Finally, a solo family life alone in the apartment.

I could say, that it is expensive to have our own. And 4 months in the new apartment is something we wanted to be able to know our own exact bills and other expenses.

There were talks of getting our own house, but were all dismissed. First, we still do not know where exactly to settle. Second, we do not want to have a mortgage of more than 20 years. So, at the moment we continue to save and invest. Third, I know having our own house will save us big time in the future but having a mortgage and at the same time budgeting for the family's expenses is another thing to consider.

Also, with the recent development in our group at work, I am having second thought of continuing my service. Or maybe I'd be out of work sooner than I can think. Whichever comes first which is the reason behind I have fear of getting something this big and then come a time, the house will be foreclose.

Well, I am no longer incline to moving up. That's the truth. I wanted to spend more time doing something I wanted. But the bills are really getting in. Sigh.

We are currently living on a single household income. Though my husband finds time to sell. Also, I have few side income streams but the income is seasonal on these small time businesses.

I have been on a series of online job hunting, too, looking for some stable income online at home. To start my online income streams, this will require me a lot more time for internet to feel my presence. I know it is saturated right now with millions of people around the globe trying to enter the online world.

I know it isn't easy but might as well try my luck.:)

New Indulgence: Leche Flan

Life is in indeed a journey. As we go through life, we constantly look for ways to fulfill our childhood dreams. This time, let me tell you the dream of my husband. He wanted to take Hotel And Restaurant Management (HRM)before going to college. But due to some circumstance, he took an IT course instead. He landed an IT job before and then entered BPO afterward.

Now that we have a 4-year old and no one is available to take care of her, we decided for him to stay at home. It was a tough decision we made in 2017. The most difficult one that there was not one discussion we won't not argue about it. I think, I mentioned before, I would cry every single day. And at this time, we now knew that that decision was worth every inch of it.

Facing the reality of a single income household is another story. With this set up, I was force to look for ways and means to augment the family's income. At first, my husband was hesitant about the thought of it. Moreover the thought of selling.

Then one day, I just woke up he wanted to do it. I was joyful and supported his plans. So he ventured into selling relyenong bangus (de-boned, flake and stuffed milk fish), boneless bangus (de-boned milk fish and marinated), tapa and longanisa (sausage. He is happy for the sales. But due to the recent bad weather conditions, the supplies were not that good plus the prices also went up. He resulted to experimenting and cooking leche flan (caramel custard) while trying to check other products to sell.

Since I am known online as a seller, they took my post of it as that we are selling the leche flan. We made a few pre-order online. I have learn the fact that although leche flan has always be known as a desert, yet it is not readily available anywhere unless pre - order. These dessert was as simple and easy to prepare.

Preparing and cooking these dessert has become a family bonding for us. We all take part in the preparation. My little girl just love it, especially the dessert itself. :)